Hilarious Short Quotes

Funny Quotes About Life And Great Videos...

Read these hilarious short quotes and try not to take life so seriously. I know that it can be very tough at times but the burden can ease if we could only relax a little and go with the flow. If you are feeling down or unhappy take a peek at some cute and funny quotes or these funny quotes about life below.

Hilarious Short Quotes

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Dogs have owners, Cats have staff.

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

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More Hilarious Short Quotes

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years.

Oscar Wilde

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

W. C. Fields

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

Phyllis Diller

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.

Bill Cosby

Last Bit Of Funny Quotes About Life

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

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We hope that you have enjoyed our look at how "getting old" is humorised across various media.

Do you have favorite quotes or quips of your own?, we would love to hear from you & will publish the very best ones along with our own.

Quotes & Quips by Other Visitors

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Getting Old Cookies Joke Not rated yet
Deep inside me, there's a skinny girl screaming to get out ... usually I can shut the b!tch up with cookies. =)

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